Vivid

I woke up to such a dream that felt so real. After so long, I had no thinking of him, and yet there he was. He stood there in those vivid dream asking for forgiveness, returning back all those things I gave it to him sincerely. In the end, I dont know whether I forgive him or not. I saw his invitations of wedding with her. It must be a grand wedding, and a scrapbook made by her for him just like the one I have made for him. It felt so surreal. I was thinking of how did he feel when all the things she ever did were all exactly the same things I have done for him. Perhaps, I am still wondering because he never had a closure of our relationship with me.

For god sake, it's been one year of struggling. I had to prevent myself from getting any news about him! Why on earth suddenly those dream came chasing me back? And it's the last Ramadhan. Does God trying to give me a hint? Though I still find it hard to forgive him. I woke up later and the pain strike again. It never healed.
Those scars have always been there. Damn.