Dingin

Kau nak rasa sesuatu yang sejuk tak?

Dia menghembus kepulan-kepulan asap kelabu seakan asap itu boleh memberikan haba.

Apa? Matanya membundar ke arah perempuan itu.

Nah.

Apa ni?

Hati aku yang dah sejuk. Beku. Dingin. Sebab kau.

Lelaki itu terkedu.

Aku sedang belajar memiliki hati yang beku. Senang. Supaya nanti-nanti tak terkecil hati lagi. Biar dingin begini. Sesekali yang  menyentuh mungkin boleh terluka sendiri. Pandai-pandailah kau rawat sendiri.

Cinta pandang pertama.

So I have this weird imagination pasal cinta pandang pertama. Pffft. Bla bla bla banyak sangat tengok cerita cinta, eh. Selalunyalah in my imaginations, bila cinta pandang pertama ni, the heroine mesti ada rambut panjang yang sangat cantik, yang dia tak sedar pun dia cantik. Bila dia look forward towards the hero, rambut dia ditiup angin. Pergh,cair. Ok, so basically number satu dia punya rambut. Secondly, from the way she laughs. Trust me, guys fall for this. It somehows shows that this heroine, knows how to enjoy her life. Cakap macam I am the guy 😑. But honestly, I love to put myself as a guy in most of my imaginations. WEIRD.

That pretty much sums up about love at first sight. Through out my life, tak pernah lagi kot cinta pandang pertama. Ke terpegun tengok someone tu considered as cinta pandang pertama? But usually, it ended right at that time. Maksudnya, the guy went to the other way, and I went to the other way. THE END. But there was one time, I jotted down some random guy punya plat number. What the hell was I thinking? That I can go ask JPJ, tuan punya nama vespa. Oh yeah,he rides vespa, makan sorang-sorang. There's this mysterious aura around him. Haha.

Cinta pandang pertama is lucky I guess, kalau seiring dengan personality. So tell me, about your cinta pandang pertama. Hee.

Misfortune

Beware of some negativity. Sigh.

I am so disappointed right now. People keep backing out and yes, life is not good God knows since when. Yes, I know we should be grateful of littlest thing that happened through our life, but truth is those grateful things were, back when I was a child. As I grow older, I keep messing up everything, studies, love life,wealth, friendship, every fucking relationship. Why? I was never the fortunate one. Always. It's like everywhere I go, misfortune will come after me.

Say alhamdulillah to whatever comes. How about always the bad luck that came? Where did the good luck have gone? Are you hiding somewhere? I'm still figuring out the whys and whatsnot, and up to this day, I haven't found any clues of why. I am so frustrated.

Eid

Baru raya keempat, and I'm already enjoying my leisure time berbaring while scrolling the videos by faizdickievp and arlinabanana. Lawak okay. That's it. Very simple celebration of raya. Semalam dah masak full course for open house, kasi chance la relax hari ni. Heee.

Happy eid mubarak!

Vivid

I woke up to such a dream that felt so real. After so long, I had no thinking of him, and yet there he was. He stood there in those vivid dream asking for forgiveness, returning back all those things I gave it to him sincerely. In the end, I dont know whether I forgive him or not. I saw his invitations of wedding with her. It must be a grand wedding, and a scrapbook made by her for him just like the one I have made for him. It felt so surreal. I was thinking of how did he feel when all the things she ever did were all exactly the same things I have done for him. Perhaps, I am still wondering because he never had a closure of our relationship with me.

For god sake, it's been one year of struggling. I had to prevent myself from getting any news about him! Why on earth suddenly those dream came chasing me back? And it's the last Ramadhan. Does God trying to give me a hint? Though I still find it hard to forgive him. I woke up later and the pain strike again. It never healed.
Those scars have always been there. Damn.

Alang

http://noorsuraya.blogdrive.com/archive/289.html

Allah, rindunya dengan Alang dan Nuha! Tempoh hari, sempat bermesej dengan kawan serumah yang sudah bekerja di Pulau Pinang, sempat berseloroh bila disuruh bekerja di sana tahun hadapan,

"Carikan Alang seorang kat saya. Kalau dah jumpa saya pergi sana,"

Lalu beberapa hari kemudian, mesej dibalas dengan ;

"Alang awak dah berkahwin dengan Nuha!"

Dan disertakan link daripada blog tuan punya buku.

Alang Rebus Tak Empuk, gelaran Nuha bagi. Comel sangat berdua ni! Walaupun Alang dah kahwin, asalkan jumpa orang persis Alang pun kira bolehlah. Alang dan rambut afro nya.

Perspektif

I
Terbang tinggi-tinggi, kemudiannya hinggap di dahan pohon.
Ada suara-suara sumbing.
Bunyi-bunyi tidak enak.
Ah, peduli apa.
Aku tumpang berteduh.
II
Kasihan, tiada tempat berteduh. Ke sini lah dia. Dibuang asal la tu.
Dasar tak berguna.
I
Ah, aku tak larat menghadap benda yang sama.
Aku mahu lihat dunia yang lebih dari apa adanya.